May 14, 2013; Indianapolis, IN, USA; New York Knicks forward Carmelo Anthony (7) warms up before the game against the Indiana Pacers in game four of the second round of the 2013 NBA Playoffs at Bankers Life Fieldhouse. Mandatory Credit: Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

New York Knicks, I Love You But You're Bringing Me Down

Dear New York Knicks,

Nobody likes your team. Your fake superstar has a game built on offensive fouls and pull-ups. You have Tyson Chandler, so you have one defender. Everybody else is an old man jacking 3s. You have one thing going for you: You are not the Indiana Pacers. So I’m pulling for you.

I should preface this open letter with the obvious fact that whoever wins your series, it won’t make a bit of difference to the Miami Heat. There is no team in the East who stands a chance against the Heat. Good luck with that.

The Indiana Pacers are a poor man’s (which is to say “Eastern Conference version” of the) Memphis Grizzlies. Roy Hibbert can’t

hold Marc Gasol’s jock, but he’s a defensive presence. David West is a thug of a power forward who doesn’t block shots and likes his mid-range jumpers, just like Zach Randolph. Mike Conley and George Hill are underrated point guards who get the job done. Tony Allen is shooting 41% from the field and is still shooting better than Lance Stephenson. I love Paul George, so I won’t compare him to Curious George Tayshaun Prince.

We already have the Grizz slipping into the conference finals, mucking up offenses everywhere they go. Knicks, we need you to hit a few more of those threes and play just enough defense that Stephenson will be forced to shoot.

Should you fail, which any team built on volume three-point shooting is destined to in the Playoffs, an Indy-Miami Conference Finals will be an entertaining sweep, and maybe you’d be interested in a nice backup point guard from the Wolves. Like a Luke Ridnour? Or maybe a Jose Juan Barea? We’ll wait and talk to you Monday.

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Tags: Carmelo Anthony David West Eastern Conference Playoffs Eastern Conference Semi-finals Indiana Pacers J.J. Barea Lcd Soundsystem Luke Ridnour Minnesota Timberwolves Nba Playoffs New York New York Knicks Roy Hibbert Timberwolves News Tyson Chandler

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