Dear New York Knicks,

Nobody likes your team. Your fake superstar has a game built on offensive fouls and pull-ups. You have Tyson Chandler, so you have one defender. Everybody else is an old man jacking 3s. You have one thing going for you: You are not the Indiana Pacers. So I’m pulling for you.

I should preface this open letter with the obvious fact that whoever wins your series, it won’t make a bit of difference to the Miami Heat. There is no team in the East who stands a chance against the Heat. Good luck with that.

The Indiana Pacers are a poor man’s (which is to say “Eastern Conference version” of the) Memphis Grizzlies. Roy Hibbert can’t

May 14, 2013; Indianapolis, IN, USA; New York Knicks forward Carmelo Anthony (7) warms up before the game against the Indiana Pacers in game four of the second round of the 2013 NBA Playoffs at Bankers Life Fieldhouse. Mandatory Credit: Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

hold Marc Gasol’s jock, but he’s a defensive presence. David West is a thug of a power forward who doesn’t block shots and likes his mid-range jumpers, just like Zach Randolph. Mike Conley and George Hill are underrated point guards who get the job done. Tony Allen is shooting 41% from the field and is still shooting better than Lance Stephenson. I love Paul George, so I won’t compare him to Curious George Tayshaun Prince.

We already have the Grizz slipping into the conference finals, mucking up offenses everywhere they go. Knicks, we need you to hit a few more of those threes and play just enough defense that Stephenson will be forced to shoot.

Should you fail, which any team built on volume three-point shooting is destined to in the Playoffs, an Indy-Miami Conference Finals will be an entertaining sweep, and maybe you’d be interested in a nice backup point guard from the Wolves. Like a Luke Ridnour? Or maybe a Jose Juan Barea? We’ll wait and talk to you Monday.

Apr 11, 2013; Chicago, IL, USA; New York Knicks small forward Carmelo Anthony (7) rebounds during the second quarter against the Chicago Bulls at the United Center. Mandatory Credit: Dennis Wierzbicki-USA TODAY Sports

There are some nice storylines in a New York-Boston playoff series. Carmelo Anthony has taken Manhattan and will look to successfully navigate his creaky, old Knicks team past the creakier, though not quite older, Celtics squad who have managed the #7 seed in the East despite a season-ending injury to their superstar point guard, Rajon Rondo.

Knicks probable starting lineup:

PG Raymond Felton

SG Pablo Prigioni

SF Iman Shumpert

PF Carmelo Anthony

C Tyson Chandler

It’s ‘Melo’s series to win, as the Knicks have relied on his brand of bully ball all season to draw double teams and bomb away from the land of 3. (Boston was 4th in the league in 3 point defensive percentage, but more on that in a minute.) New York led the league in 3 pointers attempted, ending up tied for 4th in 3 point percentage.

Amar’e Stoudemire will miss at least the opening round and possibly the entire playoffs with his knee issues. As a difference-maker in this series, his impact would have been negligible as his defense. With Kenyon Martin ailing, it could turn in to a bigger issue.

Celtics probable starting lineup:

PG Avery Bradley

SG Paul Pierce

SF Jeff Green

PF Brandon Bass

C Kevin Garnett

I’ll say it again, Boston was 4th in the league in 3 point defensive percentage. 3 point attempts will determine this series, and every other one New York plays. If Boston can play Carmelo straight up, New York doesn’t stand a chance. Bass, Green, Pierce and even Garnett could all have a go on ‘Melo and if any of them have any semblance of success, New York’s 3-point shooters will have defenders who are allowed to stay home on them.

The way ‘Melo’s been scoring the ball, it’s unlikely — but that’s not the part that will cause Boston the most trouble. The Celtics’ offense managed to score 33 points less than the Timberwolves this year, good for 20th in the league. With Rondo and definitely without him, the C’s haven’t been an offensive juggernaut.

Watching Paul Pierce and Jeff Green pump fake away in isolation while Garnett tries to drag Chandler (and his bad back) out of the paint and help position will be dramatic and make it close. The Knicks bombing will catch up with them at some point in the playoffs, but it won’t happen against Boston.

Prediction: New York in 6.