5.  RANDY BREUER aka Lurch - Randy is still the only Timberwolves player in franchise history to have attempted and made a sky hook.  We don’t know what else he accomplished during his tenure with the team other than look like he belonged in the YMCA old man league.

4.  NIKOLA PEKOVIC aka Frankenstein - If Frankenstein had a beard and tatoos, he would be a clone for Nikola.  So far Nikola has provided some brute strength in the paint for the Timberwolves.  He has also provided the gracefullness of his Halloween counterpart.  I would not like to see him in a sport jacket walking down a dark alley.

3.  BRIAN CARDINAL aka Dr. Evil – Cardinal is another stud from the Old Man Recreational league that somehow made it to the NBA. 

2.  SHELDON WILLIAMS aka Sloth – How this man was able to pull off Candice Parker is something that is beyond all human comprehension.

1.  SAM CASSELL aka The Alien – Anyone who has seen Sam Cassell has asked the same question, “What is it?”  Sam has made the biggest and most clutch shots in team history.   But he’s also the reason why people in Minnesota believe in UFO’s.