Timberwolves Re-Brand: A Celebration, Part Two

Sooo, their primary color is puke brown? Sweet. They break the golden rule of primary colors by adding a deep blue and red. The brown mixes with the blue and red about as well as D’Angelo Russell mixes with Snapchat videos. The only person who could legitimately argue the Pelicans’ color palate is a success is whoever chooses the colors for Wes Anderson movies.

Then we get to the logo. This logo has been out for over a year so plenty has been said about it. To sum up the reviews in one word: lame. I mean, come on, a pelican?

New Orleans is one of the most exciting places in the US and has a rich culture but they chose the state bird? On top of that, the Pelicans’ logo is way too busy so they’ve already broken the simplicity rule. Add in all the puke color with the 18 letters and their logo becomes a big bucket of yuck.

How about the uniforms?

Well, at least they’re pretty simple. Thank God they’re not brown, right?! I like the blue they chose and the puke brown actually looks presentable on the side of that uni. On the white uni? Not so much. The brown next to the home white looks like when my dog pukes up breakfast on the bathroom tiles. (Enough vomit references? Okay, fine.)

I have a lot better feelings about their secondary logos and purple alternate jersey:

Now that’s a New Orleans color scheme and logo. Take out those sleeves and you’ve got a real winner.

If you’ve been to New Orleans, you’ve see these colors everywhere. You see that fleur-de-lis logo everywhere as well. And I mean EVERYWHERE. As the New Orleans Saints’ logo. Hotel elevators. Restaurant menus. You name it; if it’s in ‘Nola, it’s got a Saint’s logo stamped on it.

There’s only one problem with the New Orleans professional basketball team using those colors and logo, isn’t there? (Actually, there’s two. The Utah Jazz hijacked New Orleans’ best nickname ever and the great color scheme along with it. Please Utah, do the right thing and give it back.)

There’s nothing less ‘Utah’ than the only original American art form out there and those colors. Just call yourselves the Utah Non-Caffeine drinkers and give the Pelicans their dignity and sweet unis back! The Pelicans will even throw in Tyreke Evans and some gumbo shrimp in that deal.

Back to the second problem with their secondary logo: Well, you know, some other team in town already has that whole Saints logo on lock down.

Moving on from the Pelicans’ disaster of a re-brand, I was going to transition to probably the most puzzling re-brand of late, the Los Angeles Clippers.

But I’ll leave them alone because a ton has already been written about their atrocity. Like here and here and here. I think you can sum up the fan reaction as the opposite of this:

The fans (and NBA fans in general) liked this re-brand about as much as people liked Windows Vista.

To Steve Ballmer: Boom. Roasted.

Ok, let’s move back to the Timberwolves redesign.

Next: On To The Timberwolves...